Hi. It's been a really really long time since I last blogged. Not to say to write about my own feelings. School work has been messing up my life and my very own inborn characteristic to be lazy has been on me lately. I have rather chose to watch TV then to check my ever over-flowing mail box or updating my blog. My computer's 'retard response' has also been another reason. I have tried taking up half an afternoon just loading 20 pictures for my class. Yet, for now, it would be different, my father has installed a new 'HOME NET' system and I can even have Internet access at my own free time. (previously, my Internet system can only come on when he on his computer.) Hmm... back to my own life...
I have been spending considerable of time on checking my mails and reading friendster profile for the past hours. Suddenly, I come to realise that I have not been in contact with many of them for many months or even years. It is really memorable looking at some of their familiar faces and remembering when we have first met. Some might be distinct then others but all have been able to stir the very feeling within my heart. They have given been sweet memory in one way or another. At least, I can whole-heartedly say that I have a lovely and happy childhood story.
Today, I have a will to recount my life story for the past 6 months. Let me start from the most recent weeks. Well, to start off, I am still in the midst of exams. I have been chasing papers for the past week. Two more papers to go. (Physics on Wed and Maths on Tue) Another interesting fact is that today is actually my lunar birthday. I started off my 18th birthday by studying 3 hours of biology on sexual reproduction. (from mid-night 1200-0300).Today's paper was actually considered very easy, it is just that i have not been able to remember all the terms that I have learnt that very morning. Afterall, it was not that bad, the worst was Maths. I have not been able to do the paper due to the lack of practice, that's what i need to say. Short and simple. That's it. Sometimes I am quite doubtful about myself. It was a fact that I know that if i don;t achieve all Ds for this exam, I will force to drop once again, and this time, it will be compulsory I supposed. The problem is I do not ghave the determined heart to move myself on. The feeling was not at all pleasing. I always feel some fearloithering in my soul and my mind thinking the possible outcomes of my future. Despite all this, I still found myself finding short-term peasure in fornt of the TV shouting GOAL GAOL GOAL! Maybe, I am lack of self-discipline and this always hinder me from achieving better results.
Despite knowing my problem, I am always reluctant to change. Or maybe I should lack the very motivation to change. Actually, I always do not want to be above others, I prefer to be surrounded by people who have better qualities than me. This gives me a feeling of being protected and a sense of priceless sercurity. Yet, I know I am always strive hard to keep up with one another conversation and in order to make myself presentable. I think this is the reason that keep me studying. Life is so complicated.
Now, let's us move to January 2006. This year I am glad to say that a new batch of people moved into my class. It makes my class at least to say, more lively. I knew great people. 4 big guys and 1 sweet and blur girl. =) I knew them better through my first class outing with them. (a 6 people gathering rather than class outing actually.)I did two new thing that very day. One is riding a two people bicycle and found out that Wei Chee has a has a bad sense of balancing. Wei Jun taught me how to brake and the most funniest thing was that he did not know I was nuts at it. I fall falt on my face once i stood on my brakes. I tripped for trillions of times that day... hahah.. but it was very very fun.
It was school and school then. With Gp tuition every weekend.
To be continued.....
