Sunday, February 12, 2012

Feelings...

My heart is pounding up and down and I really can't concentrate for this past 24 hours. We have made a really dramatic decision that will affect the rest of my life. I need to make sure that there are no regrets. This will be the turning point for my life and there shouldn't be any mistakes because of irrationality. I can't think for a moment or two. The fact that my boyfriend and I had suddenly change our plan make me a little nervous. For one thing, this was not under my plan and I need some time to accept the change. My heart had can't stop beating. It is going up to 100 beats per minute at rest.

If I were really accepted to UK this coming September, this would be the time which I would be leaving Singapore and going for another place for good. There would be no turning and I realised that I am so not prepared for it. To stay here 3 months lesser does not seem to make any significant different but I assume I am just not prepared. Even my Daddy is for my decision, there shouldn't be anything I should worry except for whether the university would accept me or not.

Being afraid that the university wouldn't accept me should not happen. I have a little more confident on that because it is still under my control. I just need to find a way to sell myself. It's just that I realise I have spent my last year with my work and there is no particular significant events that I had attend. I know that my boyfriend had kept on repeating that fact to me but I just thought it was not that important than staying at home with my mother. However, looking at him, I have no worries and regrets passing my life and relying on him for the rest of my life. He has made me felt safe, happy and loved. It doesn't matter what I do, the fact that he will be with me makes me happy. That makes me worried because we have had to get into the same university this year, if not , our plans will all be ruined again and he will not be happy. It goes the same for me too.

May God bless us and our decision.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Sunday, October 23, 2011

2010 to 2011

Hello everyone and myself,

It have been a really long time since I last blogged. I seriously cannot believe that it have been 1+ years since I started worked and my boyfriend is actually here in Singapore to acompany me. Loads of things have happened in life and I realised that I have learnt so much and grown so much throughout this whole year. Life is full of changes and changes are hard. Yet, at the same time, it had brought challenges and joy in my life.

Work Life
It all started in 22th July 2011. I stepped into the hospital that day and I did not realised how blessed I am to have one of the best senior physiotherapist to guide me throught the orientation. I was so lost and confused. There are so many things to learn that I thought I had make the wrong choice to work in this hospital. On the 2nd day, I had my list of patients passed on to me and I had my first auditing. Everything was a mess. I did not know how to handle cases, especially neuro cases. It was the first time for me to step into a Neurosurgical ward, it was difficult for me to accept the patients, not to say, to handle them well. Patients presented with all sort of disorder and I clearly remembered the first case I had was someone with ataxia. That night, my mentor stayed with me in the ward till 7.30pm to teach me all the neccessary stuffs and to help to clear my patients. I was so stressed that I thought I would just collapse. But at the same time, I was so blessed to have my mentor with me the whole time to guide me along. Coming face to face with patients with craniectomy, extra-venticular drainage, fluctuating tone was never as easy as one thought. On the 2nd week of work and the first Saturday I was working, a patient's heartbeat stopped in front of me with relatives crying outside the curtain. I have seriouly blamed myself for that although I know I should not. It was so hard for me to get over the incident. Images kept flashing in my mind and the worst thing was that my hospital required me to write a medical report, a reflective report and to discuss with me on management after that. During that whole month, I must really thank my mentor and buddy Khoo for getting me through this. I just couldn't know how I have survived. After that, I started to love Neuro, I started to love the patients. My team was so bonded that we have many events and functions together. For now, many of us have already splited, the memories together will never be forgotten. In April, I have rotated to Orthopaedics. It was a whole new experience working in a "Nursing Home" with 70% of the patients being demented and in the B1 & A class wards. It makes my life filled with interesting stories. Currently, I have just rotated to Cardiopulmonary team serving the High Dependency Unit and the surgical ward. Another challenge in life. :)

Ken. Simon. Sylvia. Jothanon.

Holidays
Holidays have been exceptionally great especially the trip to Korea in May. It was just splendid! Here is a recall....

2010 June: Philippines + Italy
2010 August/Sept: Genting, Malaysia
2010 October: Macau
2010 Novemeber: HK for graduation
2011 January: Phuket
2011 Febraury: Bali
2011 March: HK Disneyland for Anniversary
2011 May: Seoul + Jeju + Genting
2011 July: Phuket, Phi Phi island for Birthday
2011 September: HK + Desaru, Malaysia
2011 October ---Fai Fai coming to work in Singapore

Family
:D GREAT!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

The reason

After 1 whole month of holidays, I decided to laze at home and watch drama series. This is a really good time to sit down and unwind myself. And to think through and reflect about matters.

Many people has asked me about the ways that I am going to deal with my long-distance relationship. Frankly, my brain didn't accept the fact that I am going to leave HK for long until I stepped on the plane. I left so many things behind including important documents or even, partly my heart. The feelings were strange. It was just like leaving home 3 years ago. In a wink of an eye, I am back. And it is really an irony that I need to adapt to a place which I called 'home'.

Things change in years. Buildings. Cars. Handphones. And even feelings. Perspectives. This is scary. For family, we can always be bonded because we have a similar line of blood flowing in us. And love that was showered on me all this years have brought me back to Singapore. I came back for the love of my parents. This had allowed my boyfriend and I to learn to appreciate each other so much while we are still together. The love of a youth is so precious and truth. The love from my boyfriend has been so selfless and true. He has been like my family. I really do treasure that a lot. There are many compromises and promises that we have made and that we shall keep. And I hope, with all my hearts, that everything we go smoothly as planed.

Thursday, July 08, 2010

A night with thoughts

At this very moment, my throbbing headache has been preventing me from sleep. As I roll in my bed, trying to concentrate on getting into a sub-conscious state of mind, memories started to flash past my eyes. It is very hard to believe that I had finally ended my life as a student and is entering into the complicated world of adults. The place where reality haunts you, makes you leave your truthfulness and makes no excuses for you being naïve. I dream the world is like a Disneyland where everyone sees reality as a fantasy and carries a smile across their faces. I hope there is no disasters, no policies. I wish I can continue to stay in the mind of a child, at least, for a few moments each day. Maybe, everyone’s life can be a fairy tale if you learn to see the beauty that you have in life.

I admit that I have really grown a lot in the past 3 years, having to be away from your family coerced me to be independent and to be a more responsible person. Being part of the allied health team, many patients have helped me learn the preciousness of life and never to take advantages of anything that you possess. I do. And I feel I am blessed.

My graduation trips with my boyfriend and family makes me feel how loved I am. Being able to travel to beautiful places with your loved ones is the most rewarding thing that can happen in one’s life. Philippines vs Italy. The beauty of nature vs the beauty of mankind. Every little scene is so captivating. These are unforgettable trips that will stay in memory forever and ever. These trips are applauds to the glory of my student life and the start of working journey. Thanks for all who have been with you. With Love.

P.S. Later on trip details oh! :D

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

3 years of uni

Today is going to be my last day in my hall which I have lived for the past 3 years. Exhausted from the packing for the week, the feeling of sadness was that strong in the past few days. However, when this day finally arrives, I begin to miss this place very very much. This place has accompanied through my university days and it filled me with joy, laughter, knowledge, luck, love and loads of many memorable memories.

In this room, I have come to know 5 room mates and most of them really made my days each day after work.

Somehow, I hated farewell and I found myself in a state of denial that I am going to leave. The emotions to leave a place is too much to bear, yet, these feelings have been reappearing and reappearing throughout these 3 years. Sometimes, I just try to numb myself, to refrain from meeting too much people.

At the end of day, I really want to thanks all of my friends and family who have been part of my life. The 3 years of my university life was so fulfilling and joyous. It would never have been that good.

Saturday, May 01, 2010

Singapore 新加坡宣傳片

TV advertisement - through which Singapore attempted to attract Hong Kong emigrants after 1989.

:) I went over! :D

Funny Funny :)

Miss Singlish to some extent. haha.