School and thoughts

Sometimes, I found that young people nowadays is not viewing and valuing relationship as it should be. Out of a class of 57 people, there was a combination and permutation of 12 couples with only around 7 couples left standing. Obviously, relationships among my classmates had thereby become kind of awkward. There are people that we couldn't mention in front of the other. And for some reason, I realised I have been trying to isolate myself from the crowd recently. To try to pretend that I am oblivious to the things around me such as to get a peace of mind in school. Maybe, I am the kind that do not like to drift around with groups that I may eventually feel exhausted to be in.

My Mum had not allowed me to go out with friends on my own will until I was Secondary 3 or maybe, strictly, Junior College. To be frank, I had been telling many white lies to both my friends and family all these years in order to try to satisfy both side of the situation. No doubt, unhappiness, anger and guilt raged through my teenage years but somehow, it developed a character of independence. My Mum often tells me that's a blessing if I'm not feeling lonely when you are doing things by yourself. It had somehow greatly influenced me, now, I enjoy times alone, reflecting about life, thinking about the past, enjoying scenery, exercising... Though many of a time, I long for a company but if the right one is not along the way, I rather have myself being alone. I do not mind having less friends, the thing I mind is whether I have a true friend by my side.

Friends of yours getting into relationship with each other and broke up within months. Does this sound familiar? What do you do? Pretend that you know nothing? Pretend that nothing had happen before? Can we really pretend? As I talked to my professor the other day, he said he actually need to get news on who had been involved with who in the class so as to come up with the groupings for placement. Disastrous things can occur when matters are not taken seriously. The problem is -- I seriously do not see why relationships between lovers are viewed as such minute matters in my school compound or even, today's society in general. People go in and out of relationship within months or even weeks and days and they could dare say that they have considered it really seriously before getting together. I have thought of a few possible answer (focusing on the mentality of girls). Is it that girls are getting too desperate and even can't wait for the time to see what the guy is like before getting into a relationship? Or is it that girls find it hard rejecting guys at the initial stage? Or they want a record of the highest amount of relationship they get into?

I never got to the stage of the need to reject guys as I never allow guys that is interested in me and that I just want to-be-friend with to take and make a step further into a more-than-a-friend relationship. I had rejected invitations to meals, ignore phone calls, MSN and any unnecessary meetings with some people. I feel bad many of a time but the feeling would go as in the end if you know you are doing the right thing. Some girls don't have the ability to do that, their hearts and minds flicker and they want to try something they are very unsure of and often, the consequences do not end up well. I guess, sometimes, this kind of process can be saved from happening. It's just kind of redundant. You can call me conservative but maybe, I believe in finding the one and to build on a wonderful story together. A Cinderella dream? Some says I am naive but with belief, dreams do come true. :) I hope.

A picture showing love between me and my brother...
The sheep and the monkey.



Follow our hearts. But still, we need our minds to bring it into actions. And hence, it all goes back to how well our minds trust our hearts. That trust come with risk. And in a situation like love, how much risk can we take?


P.S. Actually, for me to have a better figure, I need to suffer from muscle atrophy and I might very well drop that idea. Just need to eat less of my favourite cookies and be more perseverance in exercising. :D:D:D It's real nice to know that someone actually share the same SMILES thought with me. :) Do leave more comments. :) And click back on comments for replies. :)